McCartney family~

(very) short stories about an interesting family from Liverpool

okay, here are the characters:
dad - James McCartney, the father of the family (referred to as 'dad' so you won't confuse him with son James McCartney)
mom - Mary McCartney, the mother of the household
James - eldest son
Michael - youngest son

fun fact:
James 'Jim' McCartney has a son named --> James Paul McCartney aka Macca aka Paul, who has a son named --> James McCartney
so basically:
James McCartney --> James McCartney --> James McCartney
(how original lol)



1.
Nurse: Sir, your wife has great news for you.
Dad: Omg, I hope it's a puppy!
Dad: Puppy puppyy puppyyy
-enters hospital room-
Dad: Mary, what is that? Is that our dog...you definitely picked out the chubbiest pupper...
Mom: Honey, that's our son
Dad: ...
Dad: Close enough

2.
Lil James (ya know that one fat kid) visits his mommy in hospital when his baby brother was born, together with his dad, when he was still a toddler. he sits on the hospital bed, and his parents explain that he's an older brother now. And they have to explain to him what a brother about ten thousand times is becuz he ain't the sharpest tool in the shed (good luck getting that shrek song out of your head again).
And there's this cute family moment. And James' dad doesn't cry this time, he looks at his new son and then says to his wife
Dad: 'so this is what having a pretty child feels like'
-turns to James-
Dad: 'no offense'
Mom: -looks angrily at dad, covering James' ears-
After a few moments of peaceful silence,
James: -slightly worried look on his face- 'wait, does this mean I have share my food from now on?'

3.
Mom: I'm home! So how has your day bee- WHY IS JAMES LOCKED OUTSIDE IN THE FREEZING COLD?! My god!
Dad: Idk, he had to use the toilet. I was pretty shocked to find out our dog can speak English, to tell you the truth
Mom: You know damn well our toilet isn't outs-
Dad: What? You don't expect me to let our dog pee inside the house? Seriously woman
Mom: I can't even leave you alone with our kids for two hours

4.
Dad: Son?
-sees happy James running towards him-
Dad: No, not you. I meant the cute one
James: qwq     -rejected-

5.
Dad: Mary, you have to stop spoiling our dog. He's now even sitting at the table.
Michael: Mommyyy...James's sitting on me againnn ;w;
James:  :3
Mom: Sweetheart, how many times we have to tell you your brother's not a seat
Michael: I can't feel mi legs