The sole purpose of this blog post is to annoy cludi
(which, then again, is the purpose of a good friend? no? )

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I know this sounds very hard to believe, but I wasn't always a low-life. Back at universi- no, never mind I was a low-life at uni, too

Anyway, long story short; in a previous life I was a linguist. And deep down, I still am today.
I've studied French and wondered why they can't use the word 'computer' like normal people
I've been through Italian with its impossible irregular rules (and survived)

because, as a linguist, that's what I do

However there are two languages that have caught my attention. and they're both linked to cludi.
I know, cOiNCIdeNce riiight

(seriously though, Alyssa once thought I studied Romanian for her and then got disappointed. I ONLY STUDY ROMANIAN FOR RORO <3 )

my Romanian's far from perfect (lol, I know, like, 20 words) and I mean sure

- that ă is a pain  in the ass

more like a pâine in the ass (wrong a but ya get it)
- everything you hear sounds like it's pronounced by someone who speaks with their mouth closed :/
- I haven't even started studying the subjunctive tense yet, but I'm already annoyed in advance  c:

- and last, but definitely not least;
-  what the actual fuck is this thing

ka-  kafe- ...
kafewawawu?

AND YOU THOUGHT 'CHIHUAHUA' 'S HARD TO PRONOUNCE 

I suck at this language and I know it,
buuuut,
since we're talking about people talking with their mouths closed
I'd like to very subtly move this topic to
Scouse

the noise you hear in the background is Alyssa mumbling:

'but I already know 'laich' and what 'made up' means

and that's pretty much all the Scouse she knows, haha oops

but as a linguist I've always been fascinated by someone so easily forgetting their native language accent and being incapable of re-learning it:

I imagine the following after she moved:

mum: unpack all your stuff
alyssa: sure, let's see
alyssa: hannah montana posters, dolphin plushes, my hidden sexuality
alyssa: my love for Paul, my Romanian knowledg-
alyssa: aw shoot forgot my scouse accent in Rome

and suddenly, it was gone  -poof-

one year earlier it was still alive, despite her being in denial
from the good ol' stream times:

'Ah spik regeleh english, ah'av no aksent'

---

since cludi always enjoys laughing at me, because I can't remember

'vrei sa pleci dar'
(and yes, I had to look up the spelling u.u )

Let me just add this:

there's this one meme that says

and I didn't just make it up I swearrr

and in Alyssa's case,
that means that she never ever gets to judge my Romanian

c:

Before I end this post,

I recently came up with a great idea for reality TV

the concept's re-uniting a certain girl with her home which she distanced herself so much from that she doesn't remember sh*t from the town
(based on a true story)

-1 week into this programme-

Alyssa: -on the phone crying-

Alyssa: mum, I can't go on
Alyssa: these people are th- threating meee

Alyssa: I don't know what they're saying
Alyssa: they're probably going to kill me soon
cashier in the background: all I said was ai'that'll be 5 pounds please'

BONUS:

-Alyssa's mum considering whether to give up her finally peaceful life without kids locking themselves up in backpacks then hangs up the phone-

-final episode-

Alyssa:  -now in black track suit-

Alyssa: well ...
Alyssa:

Alyssa: I guess this was the right lifestyle for me after all