Based on true stories~ (kinda)

1.
Alyssa:
you never take me seriously
also Alyssa:
ydyuzdgdcygcd bbgxsvv I candb tyjdube righdy dbgow
me:

me:
why is there word soup?
(besides she's scouse. scousers aren't supposed to be taken seriously)

2.
Alyssa: I like dolphins, they're my favourite animals
me: that's lovely
Alyssa: swimming with dolphins would be nice
Alyssa: you know what else I'd like to do with dolphi-
me:

she's going to the seaside next month. the Romanian seaside. the Black Sea seaside. Guess who live in the Black Sea? yep; 🐬🐬
Sounds like a Summer romance

3.
when you're fantasizing about yo man, and your mum gently reminds you you might wanna look for a boyfriend 'younger than 77'

4.
*mum = alyssa's mum and the adoptive Romanian mum I never had
mum: -mentally prepares herself to go into Alyssa's room-
mum: it's okay
mum: you've done everything to keep your children away from that cursed city
mum: your other kids turned out fineee, why would this one be different
mum: -trying to ignore the whole backpack incident-
mum: -opens bedroom door-
alyssa: oh hi, mum-
computer screen be laich showin':

alyssa: I-IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKEeeeEeE
mum:

mum: -FLASHBACKS TO LIVERPOOL AND BEATLEMANIA-

5.
this blog post is dedicated to ppl talking to themselves, apparently (lol)

me: - talking thinking to self -
me: I guess generally speaking I've been a good friend
me: sure, stirred up some drama   owo
me: been sarcastic maybeee a few times, heh
me: but other than that, I think I've done a good job

Alyssa: I've decided
me: about what?
Alyssa: I'm gonna take after you
me: that's ni-
me:

me: well ... guess I messed up after all
^^^^
see kids, this is what vodka does to your brain ... giving you crazy ideas and such

1 like = 1 portion of common sense for Alyssa


6.
Alyssa: well, I mean, I don't think I need to explain it to you
me: sure!

also me:

 I'M SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER SOMETHING


7.
me: cludi has been active for 72 hours now
me: no sign of life whatsoever ...
me: I guess I can now ... remove these cringy messag-
-2 seconds later-
alyssa: DON'T U DARE

me: 

it's even more accurate since both chihuahuas and alyssa are smoll

BONUS:

Alyssa: so you still delete messages, after all this time?

me: °v°

once a lil shit, always a lil shit

8.

alyssa: I'm drunk ;w;

me: pffffff, Scousers ... always the same
also me, at the same time:

-drinks entire glass of sangria in one sip-

.。･:*:･✿ This friendship is based on alcohol and crying, yay ✿･:*:･。.


Woah, you actually read the entire dumb blog post,
as a reward have this dumb meme

no wonder she can't remember her hometown, she had other "priorities"

in the category:
- Scousers will be Scouse ...
- I guess it counts as Scouse culture as well

Sure, the average group pictures are cute. But, personally, I find the not staged pictures more interesting to look at and 'examine'. Some Beatles pictures, including some of my favourites

1.
The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh Drunk Paul

age is but a number?

2.
when it's time to leave the playground, but you don't want  to go home yet

always the same one causing trouble e__e

3.

This image will appear in your nightmares

and for some reason, Paul decided to make this one of his signature looks

4.

Tourists stalking John Lennon

5.

When you're singing Hey Jude and the Na Na Na part is about to start

his body is ready

6.

whatcha genna do 'bout it?

u jest jelly cuz I'm kewt

7.

English ppl: maybe ... you shouldn't drink that much

Scousers: ehh

(not from the 60s/Beatles period, but oh well)

8.

omg mum, can I keep it?

9.

Teaching Paulie how to read, never too old to learn

10.

Just a couple of dudes being guys,

Just a couple of guys being dudes,

Just a couple of dudes being ga-

1 like = 1 prayer for John

11.

I don't know which one's more concerning

- this signature expression that comes back all the time

- or the fact that Paul keeps undressing himself

12.

that's our special boy

13.

have some drunk John, while we're at it

14.

👀

15.

Judging u

the two  main b's of the band

16.

I'm getting Disney Princess vibes here

'Tell me, Paulie, now when did you last let your heart decide?'

Another Beatles post where I mostly mock Paul, oops

The sole purpose of this blog post is to annoy cludi
(which, then again, is the purpose of a good friend? no? )

---

I know this sounds very hard to believe, but I wasn't always a low-life. Back at universi- no, never mind I was a low-life at uni, too

Anyway, long story short; in a previous life I was a linguist. And deep down, I still am today.
I've studied French and wondered why they can't use the word 'computer' like normal people
I've been through Italian with its impossible irregular rules (and survived)

because, as a linguist, that's what I do

However there are two languages that have caught my attention. and they're both linked to cludi.
I know, cOiNCIdeNce riiight

(seriously though, Alyssa once thought I studied Romanian for her and then got disappointed. I ONLY STUDY ROMANIAN FOR RORO <3 )

my Romanian's far from perfect (lol, I know, like, 20 words) and I mean sure

- that ă is a pain  in the ass

more like a pâine in the ass (wrong a but ya get it)
- everything you hear sounds like it's pronounced by someone who speaks with their mouth closed :/
- I haven't even started studying the subjunctive tense yet, but I'm already annoyed in advance  c:

- and last, but definitely not least;
-  what the actual fuck is this thing

ka-  kafe- ...
kafewawawu?

AND YOU THOUGHT 'CHIHUAHUA' 'S HARD TO PRONOUNCE 

I suck at this language and I know it,
buuuut,
since we're talking about people talking with their mouths closed
I'd like to very subtly move this topic to
Scouse

the noise you hear in the background is Alyssa mumbling:

'but I already know 'laich' and what 'made up' means

and that's pretty much all the Scouse she knows, haha oops

but as a linguist I've always been fascinated by someone so easily forgetting their native language accent and being incapable of re-learning it:

I imagine the following after she moved:

mum: unpack all your stuff
alyssa: sure, let's see
alyssa: hannah montana posters, dolphin plushes, my hidden sexuality
alyssa: my love for Paul, my Romanian knowledg-
alyssa: aw shoot forgot my scouse accent in Rome

and suddenly, it was gone  -poof-

one year earlier it was still alive, despite her being in denial
from the good ol' stream times:

'Ah spik regeleh english, ah'av no aksent'

---

since cludi always enjoys laughing at me, because I can't remember

'vrei sa pleci dar'
(and yes, I had to look up the spelling u.u )

Let me just add this:

there's this one meme that says

and I didn't just make it up I swearrr

and in Alyssa's case,
that means that she never ever gets to judge my Romanian

c:

Before I end this post,

I recently came up with a great idea for reality TV

the concept's re-uniting a certain girl with her home which she distanced herself so much from that she doesn't remember sh*t from the town
(based on a true story)

-1 week into this programme-

Alyssa: -on the phone crying-

Alyssa: mum, I can't go on
Alyssa: these people are th- threating meee

Alyssa: I don't know what they're saying
Alyssa: they're probably going to kill me soon
cashier in the background: all I said was ai'that'll be 5 pounds please'

BONUS:

-Alyssa's mum considering whether to give up her finally peaceful life without kids locking themselves up in backpacks then hangs up the phone-

-final episode-

Alyssa:  -now in black track suit-

Alyssa: well ...
Alyssa:

Alyssa: I guess this was the right lifestyle for me after all

Miitopia - Part VII

Alysscescu told me the joke of the century:
'I'm going to study Scouse again. Study real hard. Tes taim fo' reel madu'
↪ translation: in 1 year time she will learn 3 scouse words and 3 months after that she'll forget said 3 words again ...
(she's gonna be pissed at me for saying this, but deep down she knows madu speaks the truth uwu)

-----
-----

anyway, moving on

warning: long blog post is long
-----
-----

hitting on John while her husband is watching ...
...
hitting on MY John  >:c

 Paul now wants to be a macho
sounds like an identity crisis

Alyssa kinda predicted part of this blog post:

she got herself a WITCH gown, yup witch
just like I did in the game

John's not the only sassy bitch in our group    :3

-spends hours and hours with Paul-
still not sure she likes him
PrOBabLY

irl Alyssa every time I mention Liverpool or Scouse accent:

oooooooooh, on our way to my Johnnyyyyyyy   <3

 goddamnitttt :c

 time to collect some jewels

every in this game is dumb lol

update on characters:

in some mysterious way, Alyssa became the strongest on the team

she also turned into a magical girl from some kinda anime or something

but her biggest strength is still ...

TEA

...

Madu's really excited to find Johnny boi

he might be a villain, but he's still hot   ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 the flirting never  ends

looks like Paul's in TIMES OF TROUBLE

but no worries, there's still hope for the Paul x Alyssa shippers

(aka me)

it all sounded very romantic

until 

...

 I guess it's now "official"

back to the main story,

we're still looking for the jewels  with which we'll open the gate

C E R T A I N   team members are being crybabies

must be because  he  notices his gf cheating on him    :c

a friend of mine once said:

'PoOr PaWL'

but this means Paul needs to be replaced for a while

YAY

Roro will be back for a while

never lose hope!!!

aww

Alyssa and Paul are going on a romantic trip together, some bonding tim-

woah woah woahhh

wait a second

Alyssa and PAUL?!?!

ISN'T HE SUPPOSED TO BE SICK

>:c

I wonder what they did on that island?

just ... the two of them

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

John's one and ONLY love

(ya heard that, Alyssa? )

John, a cat, wants ... a cat

R O A S T E D

:3

 noOoOo
first Johnny boi
now Johnny 
:'c

ABOUT.TIME 

this team in a nutshell:

witches stick together,

getting 17th century Salem vibes here

ready to lure my team to my evil crush

here we go again

 used to it by now

 yas my boii

soooo, Alyssa doesn't share a room with Paul
not with Johnny either
so I guess she can't hit on anyo-
oh never mind she already found a new man lol
-man eater plays in background-

poor lil Roro's stuck with Paul
1 like = 1 buton de noroc-u

PLs stop this identity crisis already, we need to save Johnny
we don't have time fo' u bein' crazy

PLOT twist:
Paul's gay for every boii in our team
(I'm not surprised tbh)

BFFs

I repeat:
we.do.not.have.time.fo'.this

!!!