Newest cludi conspiracy theories~

we all love a good conspiracy theory, no? And it's been a while since I've shared some with you. So today I introduce you to the two newest ones

---
---
Theory nr. 1: she's a gold digger
well, this one may seem out of the blue BUT
let me get this straight:
as long as Paul's young and handsome she shows all her affection:
'OmG SOOO KEwT laik woah'

BUT PLOT TWIST:
not the same affection goes to old Paul
-she be ignoring the video of (old) Paul I sent
-she also be ignoring the picture of (old) Paul I sent, so I eventually deleted it
- she doesn't even follow him on insta ;w; how saaad
   (and I checked her insta a second time)

now that he's old, he's only good for ... his money??? -sniff-
in conclusion:
Alyssa loves old Paul as much as she loves the scouse accent
=
she pretends to like it, but ...      ;)
Theory nr. 2: Alyssa doesn't love Paul, cuz she gay

Well, this one doesn't really need an explanation. Pretty much anyone in this world knows Alyssa's gay
... the only person who doesn't know this is ... Alyssa (hey, I'm not saying she's slow-minded, but stiiiiill)

let me put this in a simple way

Alyssa talking 'bout boys:
'Yeah, he's cute I guess'
vs.
Alyssa talking about girls:
'ogm, madu! and there's laik this girl who's totaaally obessed with me and keeps following me like ... well, I actually like it that she keeps following me heh BuT SHe CAn'T KNoW OKay??? and I spend time with her laik all the time and we hold hands and stuff but like no homo lol! and she's pretty cute! she told me that she likes scousers, omg I wonder what this means? hey it's nothing gay right hehe RIGHT??'



BUT HEY, I can't mention because
"I am totally imagining she's gay"
just like I am totally imagining she's scouse ...

In conclusion:
I've seen a lot of Paul x John, so I know a gay scouser when I see one
e___e