The Daily Scouser - updates!

hello and welcome to our very own Liverpudlian journal: The Daily Scouser
some updates about Teh Cehteh uf Lehverpowl

-first of all: there might be another apocalypse in Liverpool
 how can we tell: First 'Liverpool' gets mentioned on our TV, not much later the TV announces there will a film about illuminati.
Today I found this on a site

 -Also: Liverpool thinks about having dolphins in their harbour as tourist attraction
BUT, we must warn Deadpoo-, uh, I mean Liverpool

These dolphins seem pretty fond of old men
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Q0A3HZLdj0
old Liverpudlian men, huh?
therefore: KEEP PAUL MCCARTNEY AWAY FROM THE DOLPHINS

-looks like Paul won't be the only flirt in Liverpool any longer

but these dolphins better watch out, hitting on the lover of teh Kwin laik taht D: D: D:

John senpai on the other hand doesn't mind AT ALL

John: I'm happy to announce I have finally found a babysit for Paul. I can finally live a peaceful life

John's been dancing and celebrating ever since

but there's an important question: WHAT WILL JOHN DO WHEN THE DOLPHINS GET TIRED OF PAUL???

Well, it looks like John already has a plan B! namely: Hogwarts