Scaws

Why hello there!
And welcome to another lesson of Liverpudlian education!

What is taught in Liverpudlian education you ask?
well:
-History of Liverpool (mainly focuses on the 1960s)
-Scouse language
-Beatles
-Exploring the City of Liverpool itself
-Beatles
-The peculiar behaviour of the Liverpudlians (already finished this lesson)
-Oh and did I mention the Beatles (they're important)

We've already learnt about the Beatles, and today it's time to study the language of the Liverpudlians, also known as Scouse!

But before we start this class, we have to remind someone about the Liverpudlian religion: their religion is slightly different then the religions we're used to...
Most Liverpudlians believe in Beatles! mainly Jawhnsus (not jeebus, cludi!!!)

here we see a Liverpudlian family praying before they have dinner:

the Holy Jawhnsus

and ofcourse the three other gods

(in this beautiful painting they're teaching Paul how to read Idk)

Anyway, back to language class:
Scouse has always been a bit of a weird language? But how did this weird language get into the U.K.?
Here we have a few theories:
-Some say we have to blame the Liverpudlians, they might have something to do with it (although we're not 100% sure, but there's a big chance! those rascals...)
-Some say Scouse is related to Cymru. Both languages sound like mumbling and have long words which most ppl not know how to spell, like bxhhjqvqhvghhqbhgh
-A few crazy ppl said Scouse is actually a Eastern European language. but please, we all know Scouse belongs to the Mumbling Language family, not the Slavic!
(Mumbling Language Family has Scouse, Scottish English, Cymru, Welsh English, etc...)

So you're a tourist?
You want to go to a magnificent and weird place?
WELL SEARCH NO LONGER!
LET'S GO LIVERPOOL
(warning: it's more weird than magnificent, though ._____. )

okay, first of all you need to learn that there are certain sentences that are NEVER used in Scaws
-John Lennon passed away
-George Harrison is dead
-I don't like the Beatles

Here are some examples of this beautiful language

PLS	Haha, you think I’m gonna admit you’re right? Yeah right
MOG	OMG
gehrl	girl
Lil’ shet	Cludi (most of the time) Paul McCartney (when talking about the Beatles) A person that often says PLS or MOG. Often misbehaves, for example, by not respecting Italian language Little shits are considered real rascals
jeebus	Jesus (not to be confused with Jawhnsus)
Fegit/fgt	Faggot Sometimes Liverpudlians refer to themselves Fegito = male Liverpudlian Fegita = female Liverpudlian (or Cludi)
The Battles	The Beatles (word’s used very often in Scouse vocabulary)
Kingdom of isolation	bedroom
This place on my computer/in my Kingdom of isolation full of Pawl senpai fan stuff, which laik, totally doesn’t exist, madu laik pls (sentence often used by Cludi)	OMG Pawl senpai <3 <3 <3 No one can find out about this –hugs collection- *^*
cuckle
God luck	When u wish John Lennon good luck Good luck (general use)
u	you
ur	your
Eht ehs	It is
U ehs	You are
Ehtehli	Italy
Ehtehliehn	Italian
Lehverpowl	Liverpool
The Cehteh uf Lehverpowl	The City of Liverpool
Kwin Cludi uf Lehverpowl	Queen Cludi of Liverpool
Cape Senpai	One of Liverpool’s current celebrities (along with Pawl and Ringo)
Noice Scaws	Cludi, that’s not decent English
shizzle	Cludi (most of the time) A Liverpudlian being retarded
A ‘special’ person	A Liverpudlian

and we'll end this post with this example of Liverpudlians comunicating with the outside world

interviewer: John, what's your opinion on the current political events in the U.K.?

John: -gives politically correct and very philosophical answer-

interviewer: Paul, what's your favourite colour?

Paul: sorry, I don't rilli get ur English, my main language is Liverpudlian

Paul: John always get the easy questions ;w;

John: Paul PLS, our city already has a derpy reputation and you're not improving things