The Daily Scouser - updates!

hello and welcome to our very own Liverpudlian journal: The Daily Scouser
some updates about Teh Cehteh uf Lehverpowl

-first of all: there might be another apocalypse in Liverpool
 how can we tell: First 'Liverpool' gets mentioned on our TV, not much later the TV announces there will a film about illuminati.
Today I found this on a site

 -Also: Liverpool thinks about having dolphins in their harbour as tourist attraction
BUT, we must warn Deadpoo-, uh, I mean Liverpool

These dolphins seem pretty fond of old men
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Q0A3HZLdj0
old Liverpudlian men, huh?
therefore: KEEP PAUL MCCARTNEY AWAY FROM THE DOLPHINS

-looks like Paul won't be the only flirt in Liverpool any longer

but these dolphins better watch out, hitting on the lover of teh Kwin laik taht D: D: D:

John senpai on the other hand doesn't mind AT ALL

John: I'm happy to announce I have finally found a babysit for Paul. I can finally live a peaceful life

John's been dancing and celebrating ever since

but there's an important question: WHAT WILL JOHN DO WHEN THE DOLPHINS GET TIRED OF PAUL???

Well, it looks like John already has a plan B! namely: Hogwarts

Scaws

Why hello there!
And welcome to another lesson of Liverpudlian education!

What is taught in Liverpudlian education you ask?
well:
-History of Liverpool (mainly focuses on the 1960s)
-Scouse language
-Beatles
-Exploring the City of Liverpool itself
-Beatles
-The peculiar behaviour of the Liverpudlians (already finished this lesson)
-Oh and did I mention the Beatles (they're important)

We've already learnt about the Beatles, and today it's time to study the language of the Liverpudlians, also known as Scouse!

But before we start this class, we have to remind someone about the Liverpudlian religion: their religion is slightly different then the religions we're used to...
Most Liverpudlians believe in Beatles! mainly Jawhnsus (not jeebus, cludi!!!)

here we see a Liverpudlian family praying before they have dinner:

the Holy Jawhnsus

and ofcourse the three other gods

(in this beautiful painting they're teaching Paul how to read Idk)

Anyway, back to language class:
Scouse has always been a bit of a weird language? But how did this weird language get into the U.K.?
Here we have a few theories:
-Some say we have to blame the Liverpudlians, they might have something to do with it (although we're not 100% sure, but there's a big chance! those rascals...)
-Some say Scouse is related to Cymru. Both languages sound like mumbling and have long words which most ppl not know how to spell, like bxhhjqvqhvghhqbhgh
-A few crazy ppl said Scouse is actually a Eastern European language. but please, we all know Scouse belongs to the Mumbling Language family, not the Slavic!
(Mumbling Language Family has Scouse, Scottish English, Cymru, Welsh English, etc...)

So you're a tourist?
You want to go to a magnificent and weird place?
WELL SEARCH NO LONGER!
LET'S GO LIVERPOOL
(warning: it's more weird than magnificent, though ._____. )

okay, first of all you need to learn that there are certain sentences that are NEVER used in Scaws
-John Lennon passed away
-George Harrison is dead
-I don't like the Beatles

Here are some examples of this beautiful language

PLS	Haha, you think I’m gonna admit you’re right? Yeah right
MOG	OMG
gehrl	girl
Lil’ shet	Cludi (most of the time) Paul McCartney (when talking about the Beatles) A person that often says PLS or MOG. Often misbehaves, for example, by not respecting Italian language Little shits are considered real rascals
jeebus	Jesus (not to be confused with Jawhnsus)
Fegit/fgt	Faggot Sometimes Liverpudlians refer to themselves Fegito = male Liverpudlian Fegita = female Liverpudlian (or Cludi)
The Battles	The Beatles (word’s used very often in Scouse vocabulary)
Kingdom of isolation	bedroom
This place on my computer/in my Kingdom of isolation full of Pawl senpai fan stuff, which laik, totally doesn’t exist, madu laik pls (sentence often used by Cludi)	OMG Pawl senpai <3 <3 <3 No one can find out about this –hugs collection- *^*
cuckle
God luck	When u wish John Lennon good luck Good luck (general use)
u	you
ur	your
Eht ehs	It is
U ehs	You are
Ehtehli	Italy
Ehtehliehn	Italian
Lehverpowl	Liverpool
The Cehteh uf Lehverpowl	The City of Liverpool
Kwin Cludi uf Lehverpowl	Queen Cludi of Liverpool
Cape Senpai	One of Liverpool’s current celebrities (along with Pawl and Ringo)
Noice Scaws	Cludi, that’s not decent English
shizzle	Cludi (most of the time) A Liverpudlian being retarded
A ‘special’ person	A Liverpudlian

and we'll end this post with this example of Liverpudlians comunicating with the outside world

interviewer: John, what's your opinion on the current political events in the U.K.?

John: -gives politically correct and very philosophical answer-

interviewer: Paul, what's your favourite colour?

Paul: sorry, I don't rilli get ur English, my main language is Liverpudlian

Paul: John always get the easy questions ;w;

John: Paul PLS, our city already has a derpy reputation and you're not improving things

throwback to red and black hair

quick throwback to 2014 when my hair was both red and black, since I decided to go back to my natural hair colour

so this was what my hair looked like during the last months of 2013 and beginning of 2014, long and orange (my god, it's been such a long while since my hair has been that long o___o )

looking back at these pics, I looked kinda weird with orange hair, I'm happy with my current natural hair colour. I personally think I look more like myself right now

 I like having long hair, but at one point my hair was that long that I made a bun and it was really heavy, so much hair

so in April 2014 I decided to grow out my roots and black hair, lol and I took me one year (yes really) before my hair was completely without red hair (seriously though, I had to wait until April 2015)

this pic is taken in June 2014, my black roots weren't that long back then but you could see the black hair really well when I wore a ponytail or bun ^--^
(also: crazy stare)

this picture was literally taken just to show how long my roots were back then
taken in August 2014, I think

a few weeks later (can't remember whether this was taken in August or September 2014 XDD)

the roots reached my ears at this point so pretty long

November 2014
my roots were growing, but my hair was getting longer and longer, so I decided to cut off hair myself (before that my hair had like 100 layers, now it probably has about 1000 layers XD)
'if I cut off some hair every week, the black roots will become longer and the orange hair will become shorter' the was my motto back then XD

after the first haircut: still looks normal

(u can't really tell because of the weird lime lightning, but) shows how long my roots were

my hair looked a tiny bit shorter than before, but still pretty long, also roots are getting more visible when my hair is loose

that one time were I forgot to cut off one part of my hair XD

even shorter

u can barely see the red hair when my hair is in a bun, yay

even shorter again, yay

that time when I wore this tiara all the time
also: look how nicely my haircolour blends with the background

shorter again!

that night I cut off way more hair than I planned to, oops XD
my hair officially became 'short hair' that night

looks pretty dark already

one side is shorter than the other now? lol okay...

probably the shortest my hair has been

and it started growing again

in April 2015, I went to the hairdresser, they cut off all the orange hair that was left and my hair was finally back to its natural colour
the first day it looked weird (like in the picture) but I cut it a bit myself the same day I went to the hairdresser (believe me, it looked better after I 'edited it' a little XD)

after I 'edited' it XD