Time for self-mockery~

I know what you're thinking. This gehrl girl is always mocking cludi and Paul, but never herself. Probably a narcissist, pff  lol maybe I am??


1.
mum: you're 26, stop playing with your food
me:

2.
tb to that one time when Discord told me to calm tf down because I typed a liiiiittle bit too fast  uwu
(and yes, actual Discord itself)

3.
me: ooooooh, is that a swing/rainbow/playground
me: oh yeah, right right
me: I'm an ADuLt now

4.
my horoscope @ me: one of the typical traits of a taurus is BEING CALM
me:

5.
me: I'm either 100% hyper/distracted/childish or cynical/sarcastic/sassy
or even better: ALL AT ONCE     °u°

6.
me: aw, a Beatles test
me: be John, be John, or just any Beatle except P-
test: GUESS WHAT BITCH
test: u'r PAUL
me: ..............
test:   uwu
me: damn it, this site's broken

it's fineeeeeee

bonus: me everytime someone mentions a similarity:

extra bonus: the one that reminds me most of those similarities is ... my brain  .___.

7.
someone: sooo, what about you? what's on your mind
my brain:
ocd ... Paul McCartney conspiracry theories ... rainbows ... glitter, lots and lots of glitterrr ... 'stay calm' inner mantra .... rainbows
me: oh, haha
me: y'know, nothing special  c:
me:

8.
other girls in the morning: doing their hair/make up
me:

9.
How stubborn Am I on a scale from 1 - 10 ?
person: are you okay?
me: I'm fineeeee. Just a smaaall fever, dizziness, low blood pressure. it's nothing, hah
(teachers always low-key forced me to go home in primary and highschool   =w= )



10.
Alyssa: you're into Pauuul, tooooo, arenn't ya madu? hehe
me:

me: there goes my appetite
(this Paul fetish is YOUR problem, don't drag me into this, k thanks)


11.
My face when leaving the discord app, after annoying cludi with:
- way too many Hannah Montana references
- my sarcasm 24/7
- mocking Paul 24/7

12.
me: -posting the 10th Liverpool/Scousers rant that day-
me:

alyssa:

(she claims this isn't true and probably won't agree with my meme. However, since I'm such a nice friend I have now decided to claim that what she claims not to be true is actually true. Let the storm rage ooon, arguing never bothered me anywayyy~ )

13.

me: Alyssa is definitely the smart one in this friendship

Alyssa: 

oh wait, oops! this post was meant for jokes about me, hehe. but let's be honest, would this really be a blog post of mine if paul or alyssa don't get laughed at?   =w=
guess this meme makes fun of me being judgemental, in a way

14.

people: Evelyne looks like such a nice person, always smiling

me: °u°

me: my plan's perfect:

Luckily I have friends who support me   <3

see? Scousers even want me to take over their city   =w=

15.

actual footage of future me on holiday in Romania, trying to speak to the locals

as usual I blame  â and other a with the lil banana accent, goddamnit, you eh/ewh sounds

now, the very last meme has, what I like to call, an "educational" purpose

16.

me: ugh, it's been two years and you still don't know that much Scouse

alyssa:   °u°

me: y'know, maybeee I should stop teaching u scouse ... it's no use anywayyy-

alyssa:

me: haha! just kidding!

me:

alyssa:

the biggest joy comes from giving scousers false hope and immediately taking that hope away again    =w=

YOU.'VE.BEEN.WARNED~

Scouse culture

person: you actually like Liverpool, don't you
me:

person: why else would you make all these blog pos-
me: I have the right to remain silent    uwu

Ofcourse I wasn't planning to do a blog post on Scouse culture, (I'm not interested in such things) but hey, cludi asked for it

so, here we go:

1.

how to recognize a Scouse accent

for me it's the following things:

- lots of 'eh' sounds
   e.g.:  gehrl, Lehverpool

- k sounds are often pronounced as 'ch' or 'gh' sounds

   e.g.:  luch a' me/reading me buch

(the incapacity to pronounce i's and k's)

- not my, but me instead

  e.g: it's me nan's birthdee

- when words start with ha- you don't really pronounce the h
  e.g. 'ave a wonderful dee/'appy

- when someone sounds tipsy there's always a chance they're scouse

2.

Everyday Life
I'm not a stalker and don't live in Liverpool (a thought which makes me super sa- I MEAN bad thoughts, go away) and therefore cannot know everything there is to know about Scouse culture. However, they are sites that have given us videos about the lives of Scousers.

Here are some videos summed up:

1. the scaws braw

JEST YER AV'RAGE SCAWS GEHRL

SORRY NOT SORRY BUT I HAD TO:

no seriously, look at what they did to the poor girl

(congrats, you survived your first scouse attack)

2. scaws gehrls (added this for Alyssa she likes dem gehrls)

(welcome to Liverpool, where they can't pronounce k's and x's)

this video was sponsored by Bargain Booze

boy: I'd buy her a kebab, cuz she looks quite cheap"

nah boii, she jest a scawser

people usually don't like WAGs, but if that's her dream ...

oh no, the rumours are true!

Scousers really are poor people, poor girl

ever noticed that Paul's eyebrows look way different now that he's older?

Rumour has it that Scouse gehrls stole them during one of his visits to Liverpool

;w;

POD: 3 words to describe yourself?

gehrl:

more about the Scouse accent:

shorten everything

bezzie, bevvie, lennie, macca, ciggies, etc

3. and let's not forget this FaSHiON trend    uwu

some of them even take "pride" in it     .____.

3. characters that could pass as Scousers

 fun fact: Scousers might have a 6th sense ... especially when it comes to finding out where Paul is located as soon as he arrives in Liverpool

stalkers

OFCOURSE, Scousers being dumb is only a stereotype

that's it
end of the blog pos-

wait wait wai- I can't do basic math.  uh oh    °____________________°