How to be ashamed of ur own husband~

How to be ashamed of your own husband - a guideline by Alyssa

---
(This will come to no one's surprise but) THE OTP5EVA is in danger ...
... yep, again
let's see, it's only the -counting- 6th time? hmmm nice
---
an overview of past problems of this wonderfullll pairing
1)
introduction to 'Alyssa x Paul'
I like how it's 3-4 years later, this is still accurate

2)
 uh, excuse you? John's MY Beatles crush u.u

3)
THE PASTA'S IN THE PAST.
he got rejected once again

4)
she no longer loves him yeah yeah yeah ;-;

5)
and to make things worse:
Alyssa's now sexually attracted to dolphins

lol that one time when she almost came becuz of dolphin pics
hah that's gayyy

sad fact: both Paul and dolphins no longer fit in Alyssa's new "style"

she now has to be a goth girl in order to be accepted by her friends

- 1 minute silence for Paul and the dolphins who now live a lonely existence in the harbour of Liverpool-

After all these 'circumstances', it's not very surprising Paul decided to become gay for his best friend lol

---
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CURRENT SITUATION? you may ask
It all started on 'Lol Paul's Old' day aka June 18th.
She couldn't remember his birthday. Well, actually she claimed she remembered after I gave her super obvious hints cludi's so smart

Now she says she's ashamed of Paul. Of course, she will say 'she never said that!!!'OGM'

long story short:
'my friends don't like Paul. And I love my friends more than Paul, so now I don't like him anymore either and stay in my Paul McCartney closet the rest of my life' 

(idk what a Paul McCartney closet looks like but imagine it'd look as gay as her rainbow-themed dreams lol)

BUT COME ON, JUST BECAUSE PAUL:
- is retarded
- the most scouse scouser to ever exist in scouse history
- may like track suits (see previous one)
- wears too much pink
- has 0% taste in fashion
- is kinda (really) chubby
- and may have wanted to name the Beatles the Shoes (weird, but that almost happened lol)
DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO BE ASHAMED OF HIM

and say whatever you want, but if you're too afraid to show your love for someone/something because you might get judged (note how I say 'might'), then that means you're ashamed u.u

here:
HAVE SOME PUPPY EYES TO MAKE YOU FEEL EVEN MORE GUILTY lol oops

Of course, there is a way to fix this,
but, like Frozen has taught us:

'you can't live your entire life in fear because you fear some will judge you'

what will our kwin do???
spoiler: probably nothing

I know what y'all are thinking
am I a psychic? no
I just happen to be really paranoid .___.

so, I only seem to make memes about others (looking at u, Paulllll e__e ). and it may seem that I only mock others and never myself. time for some self-mockery (one of my few talents)
---
---

me: why tf is everyone staring at me
also me: -wears sunglasses during Winter-
also me: -wears PJs in public-
me: nah, I don't get it
__________
__________

-one of those days when I'm actually being a good friend (lol) -
me: you know you can tell me anything, right?
-L A T E R-
alyssa: lol you know what seems nice?
me: what
alyssa: sex with dolphins
me:

alyssa: hmm, 77 year olds, too, now I think about it
me:











OKAY, maybe I shouldn't have said 'E V E R Y T H I N G'
__________
__________

THIS WASN'T PART OF THE PLANNNN

I- I look up s-scouse accent videos ... f-for my r-research,
not for meee ehehehe hehe he help

-quickly hides my collection of track suits and beatles stuff-
___________
___________

someone: you're creepy
me: °u°
me: thank you
someone: you're weird
me: aww thanks!
someone:hey, you kinda look like Paul McCartn-
me: what?!
someone: no no no, that's a complim-
me:

me: -dramatic sobbing-
someone: it's a good thinggg really

let's get something clear:
just because I:
eat too much cake, wear a lot of pink, laugh at my own terrible jokes, have big brown eyes and raven hair, am a dork and retarded
DOES NOT MEAN I AM SIMILAR TO PAULLL
(all there's missing is a guitar lol)

___________
___________


someone: are you ok?
me: -ocd and paul conspiracy theories flying around in my brain-
me:

__________
__________

me: Paul and I are two separate people
me: i-it's not like my behaviour is that similar,
me: Y'KNOw-
me:

(based on an irl situation where I couldn't stop saying 'y'know', -cries- )

__________
__________

alyssa: -talking about a situation that could only happen to her, probably about her and her dolphin plush getting stuck in her hannah montana backpack while thinking about paul or something lol-
me:

alyssa: -sad- I'm so dumb, right
me: (as a good friend I should be supportive, buttttt)
me: -THIS LITERALLY NEVER HAPPENS TO ANYONE
me: oh no worrieeeees, nah, this could happen to anyone

___________
___________

someone: hello
me: thank you

being anti-social has led to me not knowing how to communicate. I only use sarcasm and paul memes these days  c: