Sad Italian stories~

1. Homeless Ravioli
As we all know most pastas have an Italian city or town they can call 'home'. It's the place where they were first created, where they got loved by the local Italians and those Italians made them so popular that they became famous all over the country.
It's sounds so perfect, yet not every pasta got this chance. This chance of having it's very own home. Because you see, even in the world of pastas there are orphans.
When you look up 'Ravioli' on wikipedia it says 'origin: Italy (north or central Italy)'. In the meantime this orphan got adopted by many regions. That many regions that nowadays there are always fights over custody. It's like having divorced parents except that Ravioli has 9 parental figures that fight all the time...


"Sono poche le notizie certe riguardo alla sua nascita e alla cultura che gli ha dato i natali"

 Some say the reason Ravioli is shaped like a pillow is because back in the old days it had to sleep in the streets and had to use itself as a pillow and cry itself to sleep.

2. Bullied Bolognese
Do you know that feeling when there's a cool group of people and your biggest wish is to be part of that group. Every thing they do is great according to you. They're your idols.
However, when you approach them it turns out they're snobs and they just mock you all the time.
It sounds like the plot of a film that takes place in high school. For Spaghetti Bolognese this is reality. Born and raised in the States, Bolognese grew up with a fascination for Italian cuisine, its dream was to live in Italy and meet the famous Italian spaghettis. It was a nasty shock for him when he found out they all felt superior and would mock him all the time.

   (I can't draw Spaghetti lmao)
3. Passato's not amato
Ah, the passato remoto. Back in the ol' days, when the Italians were still creating their language they decided to add 'a past tense to use when telling stories that happened' (ofcourse they did, the main goal of Italian is to sound like a song or poetry (or both) and an extra tense specifically made for fairytales seemed suitable).
In Italy, this tense is loved. After it got created, Passato had a whole life ahead of him. He would go from town to town, tell all the stories people had told him. His life was pretty perfect. Until foreigners started learning Italian.
Foreigners already love all the different tenses in Italian and then this tense appears with 'only' 1269 irregulars. Passato got chased away. Tourists and foreigners started yelling things like 'Why spend time with you, when we can have a friend that goes easy on us like Imperfetto?!'
The only love passato receives is from native speakers.
Some say the word 'Remoto' got added to the name of the tense because the love foreigners have for this tense...is on a quite remote distance.

"I can't help it I'm an irregular being" ;--;

4. Perduto really is perduto 
Twin brothers Perduto and Perso were born in Italy. During their childhood everything was fine. Well, almost everything. Perso would often make snarky or sarcastic remarks about his younger brother, but after a while Perduto learnt to ignore them.
The real problem showed itself when the brothers had graduated and were finally ready to enter Italian language. Perso would often mock and blackmail Perduto. He'd say stuff like 'why choose my brother when my spelling is so much shorter and therefore easier?' or 'My brother is so regular, so average...Do you really want to sound like that? Sound average?'
Perso gained a lot of popularity. In fact, he even became that popular that most people forgot about his brother.
 Today he is all alone and drinks all his sadness away every evening. The only possible way to cure him is for him to gain some recognition.
As the years passed, he fell into despair and lost all hope...For who could ever learn to love a Perduto?